Step Three: Get on the highway and drive NE for about 20 miles and then laugh fairly hard when your back tire goes flat at 70. But don't get pissed. when it happens. You knew it was going to, it was just a matter of time. Next, almost die several times trying to get that bastard to the side of the road. Be surprised at how much sway is going on in the back end of the bike.

Step Four: Pull off to the side of the road and sit on your bike for ten minutes and laugh more because the bike is so low you can't put the kickstand down so you can't get off the bike. Eventually solve the problem using permanent fixtures in your immediate surroundings. Now still don't be pissed. Keep in mind that eventually you end up in Denny's covered with road grime writing this very page stuffed to the hilt with fries, tuna and, almost 4 cokes (free refills at Denny's - a good thing but watch out! you may get sick!) and everyone will be looking at you because you keep drinking coke after coke after coke, smoking halves of cigarettes, looking at all of these bastards and then writing furiously in a notebook. Apparently doing these thing scares the living piss out of people. You may want to leave this Denny's pretty soon though. You have a funny feeling you may have another run in with that prostitute from the gas station, which might be bad (you'll have the first run in later). Anyway you can't drink another coke without getting sick at the table (not acceptable behavior) and besides that Child's Play 2 and 3 are on at the Motel you've rented. Leave now before it's too late. Also, don't shave unless it's absolutely necessary. Also there are a few standard answers to a few standard questions. If anyone asks you where you are from, say Detroit, not Ann Arbor or anything else, it's more intimidating. If you're pinned to an actual location say East Detroit around the University. If anyone asks you how long you'll be "here" say "maybe a few days." You never know when a promising opportunity might pop up. Maybe a few days keeps all options open. I decide to stay at Denny's a little longer when the girl over at that other table starts exchanging glances with you and her boyfriend who also takes a few looks. Maybe this gets interesting. Smoke more. Feel free to have a tremendous headache from all the nasty shitty food, overexposure to the sun, and too much smoke. Keep in mind, you look like total shit. Wear white. I believe the headache is optional.

Step Five: Call a bike shop and a wrecker to get your bike to the shop. He will come out and he will have long hair and a hat and sun glasses on (dark). You will never see his eyes. Do NOT be alarmed! Eventually you befriend him and he tells you about this great lay he had who was from Lansing.

This ends this installment of an unknown Legend. Next month ride with von Bulstzcomint in steps 6, 7, 8, & 9 as he tries to deal with the wrecker driver, experiences a really big explosion, and teaches proper hotel etiquette.